antfullpac

Conversation between me and Victor: me: Hey, just FYI? I just bought myself a celebration mouse instead of steak. Victor: I already regret asking for clarification. Me: Well, I got so I thought I deserved a steak dinner to celebrate, but I don’t really like steak so instead I thought to myself “Well what do you like?” and I realized that I like ethically taxidermied Victorian mice dressed in people clothes. Victor: You just realized that?

• Kat V Harris Pax East On Twitter: It's Happening Podcast
• Kat V Harris Pax East On Twitter: It's Happening Gif
• Kat V Harris Pax East On Twitter: It's Happening Bridesmaids

Me: Well “remembered” is probably more accurate. But here’s the deal, they were CRAZY CHEAP. Victor: “They”?

Me: I may have bought five. Victor: Motherfucker.

THIS IS WHY YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED ON THE INTERNET. Me: Yes, but they were practically buy one, get four free because they were only $150 for the whole set. That’s like $8 bucks each. Victor: Using what kind of fucked up Algebra?

Me: 8 bucks a leg. Victor: That’s not how math works.

Me: It does with mice, plus they’re fancy mice. Because they’re white? Me: No, racist.

Victor: Dude. At the pet store all the “fancy mice” are white. Don’t blame me. Me: Fine, Victor. I’ll just blame the system. But no, they’re fancy because they’re all in black tie. AND THEY’RE IN AN ORCHESTRA.

I'm making an evening gown for the one on the right because right now it's too much of a sausage party and no one wants mouse sausage. Victor: Hang on.

These mice are 150 pounds. Me: No fucking way. They’re MICE. They’re like 3 pounds COMBINED. Victor: No, I mean the price is in British pounds. AND THIS IS WHY YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO BUY CELEBRATION MICE ON THE INTERNET WITHOUT SUPERVISION. Me: You know what?

You are ruining the whimsical celebration of these dead mice. Plus, I don’t understand the pound conversion. Is it 150 pounds of American cash? Because if I pay in wheelbarrows of pennies those Brits are screwed. Victor: Please stop buying dead animals without asking me first. Me: You should have put that in our wedding vows. Victor: You should stop buying dead mice playing instruments.

Frank firke on twitter: it is really good for mac. I like to keep mine in a dedicated folder that I’ve dragged into my Finder menu.

Me: You should start making tiny coats and tails for these dead mice. Also, I need 150 pounds of money. I’m raiding your change drawer. Victor: I don’t even feel safe in my own house anymore. In related news, I want to celebrate with you too since you’ve been with me these last ten years of writing.

The book comes out a week from tomorrow (!) so I’m giving away an autographed copy of (read by me) which has extra outtakes and a bonus chapter. All you have to do is submit a name for one of the mice (or the whole group) in the comments and I’ll choose someone at random to win. And again, thank you. I couldn’t have done this without your support. UPDATED: You people are get greatest dead animal namers in the history of ever and you should bookmark this page for the next time you have a hamster with no name. I’ll randomly pick a winner for the CD tomorrow but until then I just wanted to share a few of my favorites that you’ve shared: “Mice-tro Wallace Hartley II and the Von Trapps” “Mouse-zart” “Yo-Yo Mouse” “Hobo Thunderbun” “Ludwig Van Squeekhoven” “Neil Patrick Harris” “Henry Mousini” “Nigel Higgenbottom” “Alsonso Mousekovitz” “Bippen Schnitzelpuss” “Viktor Aqualung Cumberbatch” “Mathilda St. Whiskers” “Lady Persephone Cheddarton” “Puddles” Please, never stop.

I’m thinking a jazz ensemble of all time great musicians reincarnate as mice (who then died again since, you know, mice don’t live all that long–poor choice on their part, actually–should have come back as sea turtles–but I digress). Duke Ellington conducting, Dizzy Gillespie on trumpet, John Coltrane on saxophone and Glenn Miller on the trombone. You’re on your own for the last one. Looks like a french horn and I can’t think of any famous french horn players. And since you’ve decided to make that one into a transvestite, I’m completely at a loss (and fyi, slapping a boy mouse into a dress doesn’t make it any less of a sausage fest–it just pretties it up a bit). These mice are just gorgeous. This is why I hope to have taxidermied animal scenes when I’m living in a house with my random husband-like object in ten or twenty years.

If I get cats, they will just have to live with the fact that the MICE ARE NOT TOYS. I sense these mice should be named: Levinowitz Saskatchewan (conductor), Cecil Bernard (saxophonist), Xavier Bonaparte (trombone/whatever-the-Fudge-That-Brass-Instrument-Is Player), Marcel Bon Qui Qui (trumpet player), Elizabeth Susan Thatcher-Monroe (french horn player/bad ass feminist woman-mouse).

Recently posted. From the right front working clockwise: Ms Cornelia Wisebaker, Sir Adam Keysmith, Duke Elijah Trimrunner, Sir Josef Shelfington, and Albie Munkhouse. The Duke only plays with them during his free time since he has a lot of duke-ish duties to perform but loves classical music.

Albie is just some kid found on the street playing for food money, but he was very good so they let him join in. Its like instead of picking up trash on the freeway but better and more convenient for them. Mice like convenience. One time i had those shoes with the fake water and plastic fish in them, and one time i was wearing them when i was really drunk.

Anyway, i named all the fishies and now i can’t remember what i named them all, but one was definitely ‘Candy’ and one was ‘Cookie’. I don’t think these are good names for these fancy mice, i just thought it was a tangentially related story (in that we are naming animals that are not actually alive; although the fish in my shoes never were alive, but a lot of people asked if they were. I don’t know how that would have worked) that would be amusing. You should name the one that you give a dress Annabelle Pamela Elliot the Third (points if you identify my three favorite shows those names are from! I don’t know what the points will be for, but you will have them anyway).

There aren’t nearly enough female names with numbers after them. I kinda like the idea of putting them all in dresses. The three instruments I can see and the conductor are all generally associated with men, so I’m all for throwing gender stereotypes out the window. 🙂 (Although, I just looked again and saw the bow ties, which makes it more understandable that they’re all guys.) I guess it really depends on what kind of ensemble you want them to be.

It’s a strange conglomeration of instruments. Sax, French Horn, Trombone, and one other that’s hard to see. You don’t generally see a group of just those. I would think to see a piano or a percussionist of some sort, maybe some sort of string player. So, given its unorthodox nature, I would go with experimental-20th-century-musician-type names, like Gustav (Mahler), (Charles) Ives, Philip (Glass), and maybe Maurice (Ravel) or Arnold (Schoenberg). For the lady, I’d go with something classy, like Angela, or Alexandra, or Elizabeth (two of those are name of women I’ve known that play FH, the other is just a name I like). I realize that the seriousness with which I considered all of this makes me a pretty hardcore music nerd, but given that we’re discussing names for a small taxidermied rodent orchestra, I imagine I’ll fit right in.

Ok so the group is called the knights. The female is Shelby Consergo and she has a love for fine art and long walks in the park. Horatio McCool grew up on the hard streets of Dublin and only his only possession was his Sax which kept him fed many a night. Bad boy Juan Vazkez fought his way to America with grit, determination, and a lot of hard knocks.

Sylvestro Carolla named after his father the famous Mafia Boss from New Orleans, he live a quiet southern life on a country farm playing his flute for the cows. His father never approved. Victor Oswald has always enjoyed being boss, so when the opportunity to become a conductor arose he jumped on it. Finally earning his families approval. Like Stacey recently posted. I haven’t read all the comments, so please excuse me if there is repetition here.

Kat V Harris Pax East On Twitter: It's Happening Podcast

This entry made me internet search “mice in history” (who knew there is so much to know about this!), and I found the following at: “The First Fancy It was during the 1700s that the mouse fancy really got its start. In Japan they were increasing in popularity not just as pets but as breeding animals, and many people were experimenting with producing new colors. In 1787 a booklet called The Breeding Of Curious Varieties Of The Mouse was written by Chobei Zenya, a Kyoto money exchanger. This booklet included a number of drawings, descriptions of several breeding programs, recipes for creating specific colors, and mention of a number of varieties. These included Albino, Black, Black-Eyed White, Champagne, Chocolate, Lilac, and Recessive Spotting.” In honor of the first fancy mice I nominate Champagne, Lialac and Recessive Spotting.

For the final two in the chamber music quintet, it seems appropriate that one is Chobei Zenya, and reading further in the article, the last should be Walter Maxey, “father of the mouse fancy” and founder of the National Mouse Club in Britian. I have to say, though, I’m also inclined toward the name of the owner of the first winning mouse at the National Mouse Club’s original show, Ursula Dickinson, or even her mouse, Dutch Even. Fancy mice, historical reference, interesting names – what’s not to love, and seemingly appropriate for your latest taxidermied acquisition. There are so many worse things in life that you could be purchasing! Victor should be pleased that it’s only dead mice playing instruments. And again, remind him that it’s not towels As far as names go, I love names that mean something and, in this case, I have chosen names that all mean some form of white (bright, brilliant, light). They are as follows: (conductor) Cuthbert (means brilliant) (the rest) Finnegan (white) Luis (Light) Kent (White, bright) and Colina (means girl) I so love naming things!!

Good luck with your search and I hope that I win!! Like Devon recently posted.

ONE of them HAS to be named The Doctor. Because they are wearing bow ties and as you know, bowties are cool. You so need to find and/or make a little fez to put on the one named the doctor.

And a mini banana. Because you should always bring a banana to a party. If I weren’t kind of freaked out by taxidermied small animals I would totally start my own collection. Instead I’ll stick to Monster High Dolls and one day maybe I’ll have the courage to start my own taxidermied army. Like Renee Burton recently posted.

Kat V Harris Pax East On Twitter: It's Happening Gif

Tell me someone besides me had to read Flowers for Algernon in English class! Also, lady mouse is Victoire. Named after the Harry Potter character who was in turn named after the French word for victory. So in a roundabout way it’s naming her “victory”aka, “whoo, I bought five taxidermied mice online! VICTORY!” Also it sounds like Victor so when people visit you can go “please, look at Victoire” and when Victor goes “I think they see me” you can go “geez, Victor, I was talking about the mouse!” Like.

Kat V Harris Pax East On Twitter: It's Happening Bridesmaids

Well, I’m kind of a sentimental sap today (my great aunt died) and I was thinking Willena, Delores, Donald, Gordon, Victor. (As a group, they could be the Jochims Jazz Quintet.) These are the names of my grandmother and her siblings.

The aunt who passed away today (Carol) was married to Victor, and now Victor is the only one left alive of the group. I find it would both confuse my grandma as to why I would have mice named after them – and yet she’d understand. People in those days DID dig up bodies, so a few taxidermied mice shouldn’t faze her. If you only need one female name, the girls were often shortened to Lena or Dee, so you could play with those. I’m a pretty bad sentimentalist.